Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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