I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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