So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
