I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I lost the right to judge tonight
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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