16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
