new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just want nice things and good sex
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
