The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
