Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize