I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
We're too hungover to prance.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
