I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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