so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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