glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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