I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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