They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
