Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
