he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
