I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
please come you make the beer taste better
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
