I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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