I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
