wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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