It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
