She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's the barista slut.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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