i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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