I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
