You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
