Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
