I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
