I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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