he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
