It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
