Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Randomize
