Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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