Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
