tell your sister to shave her snatch
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
