is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
