new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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