apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
