like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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