I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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