so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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