i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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