I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She needs sedatives and a leash
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
