dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
