If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
