don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
