i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
