How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
