worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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