I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
