Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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