Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
