He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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