it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I don't deserve a penis
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The air taste purple.
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