she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
