She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
