I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
