3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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