No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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