OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
