wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
